so apparently people talk to their pets in baby voices, but when i see my cat i’m just like ‘hey brad’ and he’s like ‘meow’ and the conversation is over.
I don’t know why but for some reason the fact that your cat’s name is brad is hilarious to me
‘am i right ladies’ is the best way to end any text post am i right ladies
a happy couple might’ve got married today
someone might’ve kissed their best friend and realized they are gay today
someone might’ve found out they were officially cancer free today
someone might’ve finally finished their debut novel today
lots of interesting things might’ve happening today
we should celebrate
you’re the kind of person everyone needs in their lives
the older and taller u r the more attracted i am to u
*Abraham Lincoln rises from his grave*
U got kik?
u can tell im real because if i was gonna catfish id use someone hot
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
what the fuck