so apparently people talk to their pets in baby voices, but when i see my cat i’m just like ‘hey brad’ and he’s like ‘meow’ and the conversation is over.

I don’t know why but for some reason the fact that your cat’s name is brad is hilarious to me

6 hours ago // 43,368 notes


‘am i right ladies’ is the best way to end any text post am i right ladies 

6 hours ago // 610,610 notes



a happy couple might’ve got married today 

someone might’ve kissed their best friend and realized they are gay today

someone might’ve found out they were officially cancer free today

someone might’ve finally finished their debut novel today 

lots of interesting things might’ve happening today 

we should celebrate 

you’re the kind of person everyone needs in their lives

(Source: olympercy)

6 hours ago // 606,722 notes



the older and taller u r the more attracted i am to u

*Abraham Lincoln rises from his grave*
U got kik?

(Source: dumbgay)

6 hours ago // 131,805 notes


u can tell im real because if i was gonna catfish id use someone hot

6 hours ago // 263,959 notes


i’ve dated at least *counts on fingers* zero people

(Source: urbancatfitters)

6 hours ago // 233,921 notes



a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

6 hours ago // 110,565 notes